Less then 24 hours ago these guys were fighting over me with Delta Tau Delta. Now they pretended not to know my name. Could this be because the brothers thought I was gay? Afraid of the answer, I didn’t ask any questions. I did not want to hear the truth… Things were better being openly gay in high school. Why not college?... Finally someone said what I had expected all along. It was like hearing nails on a chalkboard. As I was talking with a group of guys at a party one night, one of the guys said, ‘I can’t believe Sigma Chi didn’t give you a bid because you’re gay.’ Never did I want to face the ugly truth for what it was… But it was obvious: Gay and Greek don’t mix. 1
This excerpt from the story “Change Takes Time” in the new book Brotherhood: Gay Life in College Fraternities shares the journey of one college student, Travis Shumake, who “rushed” openly gay. Travis was a young man who wanted to join a fraternity even before he arrived on campus. His father was a Sigma Chi and as a legacy Travis had inquired from day one to partake in recruitment activities at Northern Arizona University. Like many men and women today who came out in high school, the prospects of joining a fraternity and sorority already “out” can be a mixed bag of emotions.
Travis tries three times to join a fraternity before the men in the chapter are finally able to come to terms and cope with his homosexuality. On his third attempt to join a fraternity, he actually returns to Sigma Chi, despite his obvious fears, to give them a second chance. Similar to others in the book, his story illustrates the turmoil and the extreme discomfort associated with accepting a brother or sister who is already known to be gay or lesbian.
Eighteen months later, I wholeheartedly signed the bid to join Sigma Chi… I was treated like every other pledge. No exceptions, no special treatment, and no more mention of the past. The legacy lived on, and I was prouder than ever to be a Sigma Chi. I have some pretty deep battle wounds from my first two years in fraternity life. I have rushed three times with two different fraternities. I have had two groups of great pledge brothers who I know are different now because of me. I have had two big brothers who have changed my outlook on life. Through it all I followed my heart and knew where I belonged, but it took time for fraternity guys to get used to homosexuality. 2
Travis’ words as well as the title of his story “Change Takes Time” is a steadfast reminder and a dire call to action for fraternity/sorority professionals. Students are coming out at much earlier ages. Many gay students are already “out” when they arrive on campus, and most non-gay students know someone who is gay. Together in fraternity/sorority life, we must continually educate and discuss openly gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) issues in order to have a greater impact on destroying stereotypes and fears. Only then can we have the development of an inclusive, valued meaning of brotherhood/sisterhood.
Stories in the book Brotherhood highlight the remarkable progress we have made over the last decade but also delve deeper into the emerging issues and trends that still plague the mission of fraternities and sororities. The purpose of this article is to provide an overview that highlights the progress and acknowledges the work still to be done on GLBT issues as practitioners in the fraternity/sorority field.
For many of us, the journey of fraternity and sorority life is a personal one – a lifetime commitment to the ideals of brotherhood/sisterhood. For both of us, the same personal conviction is true. However, because of our personal journey “coming out” in our life – one as a professional in the fraternity/sorority field and the other as an active undergraduate fraternity brother – we have also dedicated our professional career toward educational efforts to ensure that these ideals of brotherhood/sisterhood can hold value for all our members – including GLBT brothers/sisters.
The journey began in 1990 when President-Elect of AFA, Douglas Case, on behalf of the AFA Executive Board, proposed passing the “Resolution on Heterosexism” that called on AFA members “to implement sexual orientation awareness, education, and sensitivity programs for the Greek community.” The resolution was met with controversy; however, it passed favorably. As a result, the statement’s declaration laid the preliminary foundation toward greater dialogue of sexual orientation issues within fraternity/sorority life.
Shortly thereafter in 1995, Shane L. Windmeyer and Pamela W. Freeman founded the Lambda 10 Project, a national online clearinghouse for GLBT fraternity/sorority issues, at Indiana University. The clearinghouse was created to heighten visibility of GLBT issues and to develop educational resources within fraternity/sorority life. The Lambda 10 Project became an associate member of AFA and since the beginning has been in the national forefront of promoting a greater understanding of GLBT issues within the fraternity and sorority community. The project developed and maintains a comprehensive Web site with valuable resources (including an impressive “Who’s Out” list of fraternity and sorority members), publishes training manuals and other materials, conducts training sessions for professionals who work with fraternities and sororities and presents innovative educational programs for campuses and fraternal organizations. At the AFA Annual Meeting, the Lambda 10 Project enhanced visibility efforts of sexual orientation issues by hosting an annual welcome reception for GLBT and ally professionals. The reception had originally been a small, private gathering; however, since that time, the Lambda 10 Project has developed the event into a well-attended kick off to the conference. The key to the Lambda 10 Project’s success, then and now, has always been developing allies and bringing GLBT issues out of the closet in every aspect of fraternity and sorority life.
The ball of progress was indeed rolling; bumping into large divots along the way, but always maintaining forward momentum. To further forge ahead, Douglas Case published in 1996 a national research assessment on gay, lesbian and bisexual fraternity sorority members titled “A Glimpse of the Invisible Membership” in AFA Perspectives. The study gave irrefutable evidence that gay men, lesbians and bisexuals have always been a part of fraternities and sororities, but prior to the 1980s all but a tiny few kept their sexual orientation a well-kept secret from their straight brothers and sisters. The study found that only 12% of gay, lesbian or bisexual fraternity/sorority members who graduated before 1980 ever “came out” as an undergraduate to even a single fellow chapter member. This increased to 39% for those who graduated after 1980. It is predictable that the percentage of today’s students who “come out” as undergraduates to fellow chapter members is significantly higher.3
In addition, the Lambda 10 Project under the leadership of Shane L. Windmeyer, reached a far greater audience by publishing the first-ever book on the topic of sexual orientation and fraternity life. In 1998, Out on Fraternity Row: Personal Accounts of Being Gay in a College Fraternity quickly topped the gay best-seller list with thousands of copies sold. The book, along with its companion anthology published in 2001 titled Secret Sisters: Stories of Being Lesbian and Bisexual in a College Sorority, educated and inspired countless men and women to realize that it is indeed possible to be an openly gay, lesbian or bisexual fraternity/sorority member.
The closet door had finally been broken wide open – off the hinges in every sense of the word. No longer could a fraternity or sorority deny that they indeed have gay, lesbian or bisexual brothers and sisters. The inter/national fraternity and sorority community was beginning to take notice as to the visibility of its gay, lesbian and bisexual members. These fraternity and sorority members were leading the way, coming out in larger numbers than ever before.
While as early as 1992, a couple inter/national fraternities added “sexual orientation” to nondiscrimination clauses, the vast majority of such known actions did not occur until after 1998. Even so, these landmark efforts to be inclusive of “sexual orientation” were led and supported, not surprisingly, by the undergraduate men and women of the fraternal organizations. Today there about twenty known inter/national fraternities and sororities that have either the inclusion of “sexual orientation” in non-discrimination clauses or as a core tenet to their statements of value. Each of these are listed in the “Out in Front” section of the Lambda 10 Project Web site (www.lamdbda10.org).
Ironically, Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity, which in 2004 enacted a policy prohibiting discrimination in membership on the basis of sexual orientation, was actually instructing members two decades earlier on procedures to legally expel gay members for “status offenses”! A legal issues article in the fraternity’s magazine in 1985 stated: “[T]here are constitutionally valid criminal statutes punishing theft; possession, distribution or manufacture of illegal drugs or related paraphernalia; and the commission of homosexual acts, even between consenting adults. In the Fraternity, a chapter may not lawfully punish a member for the ‘status’ of being a thief, a drug addict, or a homosexual. Nevertheless, the commission of the related criminal acts, on fraternity premises or at any function connected with the Fraternity, is a basis for a lawful penalty, up to and including expulsion.”4 Without a doubt, the tide of acceptance had been shifted dramatically since 1985.
Together the fraternity and sorority world was indeed making positive progress toward greater awareness and visibility. Over a decade, such initiatives sparked a national firestorm of newspaper and magazine articles that highlighted the negative and positive experiences of GLBT fraternity and sorority members. Feature articles appeared in The New York Times, Rolling Stone, TIME, The Advocate, Out and numerous college and university student newspapers and local GLBT publications. During this time, more and more educational programs were offered at the AFA Annual Meeting on the subject of GLBT issues and fraternity/sorority life. There was also a dramatic shift toward fraternity/sorority professionals “coming out” publicly in the field of higher education and student affairs. Even staff and board members of inter/national fraternities and sororities were making the decision to “come out” within their inter/national organizations. The growing visibility of GLBT issues within fraternity and sorority life was dampening the fog of fear that had kept individuals closeted for many years.
Over the past generation, society at-large has also witnessed a sea change in public awareness and attitudes on GLBT issues. Fraternities and sororities generally tend to be conservative institutions, and as such tend to follow rather than lead societal change. It wasn’t until the late 1960s that some inter/national fraternities eliminated racial and religious restrictions from their membership qualifications.5 It was only a couple of years ago that the pledging of the first African-American woman by a traditional sorority at the University of Alabama received widespread attention..6
Acceptance of GLBT members is particularly challenging for single-sex institutions, including fraternities, sororities, athletic teams, military units and youth organizations such as the Boy Scouts. The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that has been codified into federal military regulations has long been an unwritten rule for many single-sex groups. Only in recent years have members of such organizations been willing to challenge those expectations.
As student affairs administrators, we need to understand that students are coming out at earlier ages. For example, studies conducted in the 1970s and 1980s found that the average age that gay males self-identified as gay was 19 to 23 years old. Recent studies indicate that the average age of self-identification has dropped to 14 to 16 years old.7 In other words; many students are “coming out” in high school instead of in college. These students are unwilling to accept expectations that compel them to keep their sexual orientation secret.
Today’s students have grown up watching television shows such as “Will and Grace,” “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and “Real World” with openly GLBT characters. Many of their high schools had Gay/Straight Alliances or similar organizations, and many were taught by openly GLBT teachers. Three decades ago, there was public debate as to whether GLBT teachers should be fired. Today the public debate is whether or not same-sex couples are should be allowed to get married, and polls show that college students are far more likely than their parents or grandparents to support marriage equality. 8
With such change as a backdrop, professional and volunteer advisors who work with fraternities and sororities today are dealing with a completely different set of issues than only a few years ago. Let’s take a look at some of the emerging issues and trends we face today. |
