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Paul Wagoner, Miami ’08
“Looking back on many rush processes over my
three years, it still amazes how anyone becomes
a member of the Alpha Chapter. The entire
process of debate, the late hours, the upholding
of our standards all cause a lot of headache and
compromise. For this reason, I was even more
surprised to learn that all but one member voted
for me when my bid was discussed. I knew the
chapter had made its decision based on my merits
and my character…not on anything beyond my
control.
In high school I was student body president, ran
cross country and track, in the choir, and
eventually valedictorian. Michigan was my
school of choice. A school where I didn’t have
to worry about finding likeminded friends.
Financially, it wasn’t possible, however. I
wanted to ensure my sister also had the
opportunity to attend school so I opted to stay
in state. Miami University in Ohio was a
stretch for me. In 2003 Miami was ranked as the
5th worst school for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and
Transgender students. A traditionally
conservative atmosphere additionally heightened
by a large Greek population didn’t sound
appealing to me. But I eventually found myself
in Oxford and enjoyed my first semester. I
joined the Glee Club and developed a network of
friends. Those friends happened to belong to
Beta Theta Pi. They encouraged me to apply for
the Recruitment Through Scholarship award which
I won. Actually joining the chapter still
seemed questionable to me, though.
I agonized over how to address my sexuality
during rush. Should I be truthful, or should I
skirt the issue. Beta was known for asking the
question, “How would you treat my sister if I
let you date her?” This question was a
difficult one to answer for me, because I’m not
interested in anyone’s sister. Answering it
truthfully without compromising the strong ties
I had in the chapter was difficult. My biggest
fear was that the chapter would identify me only
by my sexual orientation. I’ve never been one
to wear my sexuality on my sleeve, I have always
let my accomplishments and personality speak for
me. These accomplishments, combined with my
character, earned me the honor of being elected
pledge class president by my brothers.
My time spent as a brother has been incredibly
rewarding. I sometimes overhear a brother use
derogatory words like fag, even if it is just an
offhanded remark. The difference with our
brotherhood, however, is our ability to hold one
another accountable for something like that. I
can talk to that brother and teach him how
hurtful terms like that can be, especially to
those not as comfortable with themselves as I
am. At the same time, he can teach me about how
he’s a product of his roots, and will work
harder to be more sensitive. That’s what
cultivation of the intellect truly means.
Learning from one another outside of the
classroom.
Since I’ve been in the Greek system at Miami, I
have developed friendships with members of other
fraternities struggling to identify themselves
in a traditionally very uniform community. Many
chapters often claim that “our house is the most
diverse house on campus,” especially during
recruitment. How diverse are we really? Is
your chapter diverse enough to be accepting to
an openly gay member? Is your chapter diverse
enough to call me brother? I hope so, because
that’s exactly what each of you is to me.
To me, unity of action is the responsibility of
each of us to hold one another accountable.
Whether it’s confronting a brother about a
hurtful comment or intervening with a brother
who has an alcohol dependency, each of us has
the obligation to keep our standards high.
Disagreement doesn’t mean there’s a lack of
unity. It is necessary in a fraternal
structure. True unity is working jointly toward
a common goal. As a junior, I helped organize a
$10,000 fundraiser for Hurricane Katrina victims
three weeks before our IFC did anything. This
is what Betas do. We mutually aid and assist.
Sometime it’s others…and sometimes it’s one
another. |
