“Fraternities”—a term for social organizations of male students at a college or university, usually designated by Greek letters—have been a part of higher education in the United States for more than 200 years.  While there have always been gay and bisexual men in fraternities, it is only in the last decade that they have been acknowledged, sometimes accepted, and often rejected.

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For many of us, the journey of fraternity and sorority life is a personal one – a lifetime commitment to the ideals of brotherhood/sisterhood. We have made remarkable progress on GLBT issues within fraternities and sororities; however, there are still many issues that plague fraternity and sorority life. The purpose of this article is to provide an overview that highlights the progress and acknowledges the work still to be done on GLBT issues.

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“I’ve heard it said that if you can remember the 1960s, you didn’t really experience them." I don’t remember the 1960s, but that’s only because they were half over by the time I was born, and completely done by the time I entered kindergarten. But my 1960s... those were my years of self-discovery and experimentation and creativity and deep, abiding friendship...

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Being Greek is an experience that not everyone can have… I have changed in a way that I would not have changed had I not been Greek.  It is an amazing feeling to be one of those few people on campus with letters.  I would not trade this for anything.

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Lesbigay students have always been in fraternities and sororities, although their identity has almost always been hidden. "Don't ask, don't tell," the newly prescribed modus operandi of the military has long been the norm in the Greek community when it comes to homosexuality and bisexuality. In today's world, though, more lesbigay students on campus, including those in fraternities and sororities, feel compelled to no longer hide their true identities.

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Then there was Ben: Six-one, grass green eyes, golden blonde hair, President of his fraternity, Greek Man of the Year, your typical all-American boy, and he was my Rho-Chi.  We met my first semester... all I could think about was him.  I was still infatuated...  I saw him across the room and smiled...

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Nick was one of the brothers who I knew was hiding in a closet. He was not alone. Each fraternity brother glistened like brilliantly sad stars, especially Nick. He could not have been taller than 5 foot 4 inches and had very typical Greco-Italian features. Beautiful, though I doubt he realized. His features were not delicate, but there was something in his eyes that gave his secret away.

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The feeling of community in my chapter deepens for me week by week. During one meeting, as we talked about upcoming boy/girl sorority events, my big sister reached over and squeezed my hand to let me know she was mentally adding “or girl/girl.” As I went through the painful coming-out process with my family, I knew I had many sisters who knew and loved me the way I am.

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Now, I had heard the “Secret Tau” reference before; however, I never understood what it meant actually. Instead, I just figured the phrase had to do with a secret fraternity ritual. Apparently the term had become a code for anybody in the fraternity who was under “homo suspicion.”  The concept of “Secret Tau” scared the crap out of me, especially since the brothers seemed so desperate to know who was gay.

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There lies the only crux to my problem; my unexplored sexuality. I loved my brothers. I trusted my brothers. But the possibility of making love with one of them was a definite no-no. Or at least that’s what I figured. “Was it right to try to cross that line in a sexual way with another brother? Was it even an option?,” I would chastise myself for even thinking such a thing. These questions became the bane of fraternity life my senior year.  My gay mind was finally catching up with my gay body.

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The sorority system was a frighteningly sobering pit of horrors in itself, but wasn’t my involvement in the situation even more problematic? Since I wasn’t just “another female” but also a dyke, I fell completely out of the Greek life food chain. I was on my own.

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John extended the love and acceptance I was seeking in life for who I was.  I could never have imagined that our friendship, our bond, would be so strong that I would be able to come out. John was the only person outside of my family with whom I had ever really been close.  His response started me on my personal journey to be openly gay.

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“You do know that the Bible says it’s a sin, don’t you?” she asked me with a concerned face. I looked at her in complete amazement. I was about to ask her what Bible she had been reading, but I bit my tongue and smiled.

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